Wednesday, June 29, 2011

1 last journey

All good things must come to an end. With the blink of an eye, my 5 months in Prague is coming to an end. I have done much since the last entry. I've visited Poland, Germany, Switzerland, Cesky Krumlov, Ireland, in Austria now and will be heading to Italy.

Of these countries I had the most fun in Ireland, partly because I just love everything Irish, and also because I went with someone I like dearly. The days following our eventual parting was extremely difficult. We had a good last few days, and I can't believe I won't be seeing her any time soon. By any time I mean at least 6 months. ):

I will do what I can to make her mine, and for us to work. I like her too much for her to slip me by. Girl, you maybe like the breeze, coming and go, but let me be the cloud that goes where the breeze goes. (:

P.S. I miss you.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Beautiful days.

What a pity. These past 2 days had been such lovely days, with the sun shinning just right, and weather maybe a little too hot but that's ok. I come from Singapore after all. Alas I can't enjoy them, since I'm stuck indoors studying.

Come Friday I will be liberated, but before that I'll have to pass my classes. I don't ask for A's, because I sure as hell didn't come for Erasmus to bury my head in books. I came to discover myself, make new friends, see the world. In some sense I have done all these.

Nothing lasts forever. I just can't believe I'm going to leave this beautiful city very soon. When will I walk Charles Bridge during dusk I know not. When will I suffer in cold with my friends, queuing up for hotdogs after late night partying? It is sad to leave these things behind, but at least I have experienced these, met these friends. There will be opportunities to meet them again. Yes, I am a sentimental guy, I hope things can stay as it is but life isn't a bed of roses. Especially for me. So I count myself lucky. In fact, if I were to stay in Prague without these friends then the city loses it's charm to me. Yes I may be able to live in Prague, but my friends will be elsewhere, away from me. Of course I will probably never get to live in Prague, since I can't speak Czech for nuts and them being so xenophobic.

Once my exams are over, I'm going to really explore Prague with my friends, cherish my time with them and just sit in cafes, watching the world go by. Such luxuries will soon be out of reach. I have a couple of poems to write. One for kiki, my sister from another mother whom I promised I will write. A fitting farewell gift. Another for Tingtung, for her upcoming birthday.

I love poetry. I recently bought a first edition collection of poems by Robert Payne, I might have mentioned that in my previous entry. Or haven't I? Well anyways I want to take my book and head to Cafe Slavia, one of my favourite cafes in Prague because of the ambience, with the afternoon sun pouring in through the glass windows, and a spectacular view of the Prague Castle at the back.

Maybe one day I will muster up the courage to send my poems to a critic. But having next to nothing in experience in literature makes me extremely self-conscious. My friends said they love my poems, but they are no experts themselves, so I wouldn't know. I hope one day one of my poems will be published. Fingers crossed.


Sunday, May 22, 2011

Lucky

These past few days had been such a blast for me. I went out with great friends on a late thursday night to take whacky photos at Charles bridge, wandered around with someone special yesterday and had great lunch and an excellent haircut today. I'm going skydiving in 9 hours and I can hardly wait.

I can't believe my luck these days. Well first of all there's that. And second of all I found a rare 1st edition collection of Poems by Robert Payne for only 300kc! And who can forget 100kc for early editions of LOTR and The Hobbit.

These good things came too late, and I wish they would last for much longer. But however fleeting it is, I am glad that I have experienced so much, seen so much and made so many wonderful friends. It will be a hard departure come 19th July, but I know I will see them again.

I think I have decided not to go to Romania after Greece. I want to spend 1 whole week in Prague, absorbing all the sights and sounds, revisiting my favourite haunts and cafes. I just wish you'll be here still then.

No words can describe how I feel right now. Not one word.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Sunday, May 1, 2011

I found myself.

Wow. How time flies. I have been in Prague for over 2 months, with just 2 1/2 months left in Europe. I've really enjoyed my time here. There were highs and lows, but mostly highs. I discovered that I can actually dance, well a little, and I've met so many wonderful people. I've learnt how to live my life, how to live and let live, and my Chinese improved!

I can't begin to explain how much I cherish this experience, and how it has changed me forever. The friends I made here will go back to their separate lives, but like the Chinese proverb goes, 不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有. Loosely translated, It doesn't matter if it doesn't last forever, it only matters that we had it before.


These friends, I will keep them in mind, and visit them if I ever go to their country. I guess I managed to find myself here. Though I will be heading home soon, A part of me will still be here, etched in stone, and maybe slowly erode away with time. 


Let me tell a little story.


Once, there was a boy. He lived most of his post-teenage life in gloom and despair, and saw the world through a grey filter. He struggled against his inner demons, but loved a girl with a ferocious passion. She was a fleeting thing, and soon drifted out of his reach. He fell, of course, into the dark abyss in which he almost climbed out of. 


No one reached in to him, he didn't bother climbing out again. One day, he knew this couldn't go on. If he wants to be happy, he needs to find it. So he tried to climb out again, and fate would had it that he climbed out on the otherside of the world. 


He met many interesting people, learnt how to live, and saw the world in a different light. 


So here I am. I have traded my half-empty glass for a half-full one. 


L.I.F.E.I.S.B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Italy!!!

I've been behaving rather weirdly lately. I need to get my act together.

Anyways in 9 hours time I will be heading to Brno, and 15 hours later I will be on a flight to Rome!

Italia, the one country I had always wanted to go. Wait for me, I'm well on my way.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Karlovy Vary

Finally finished watching Being John Malkovich. What a weird show. Anyway it's been a really hectic week. I haven't slept since Friday and I really ought to be in bed now, which I will be, after this entry.

So as you can already tell I was inspired to write a poem about a girl. It's always about a girl. Well this girl is different, she's exactly what I described to be in the poem and so much more. However I can't quite put my finger on what is special about her that attracts me to her. She is incredibly weird, maybe I am too, but the insane would appear sane to himself.

In case anyone wondered why I didn't sleep since Friday, allow me to explain briefly. I was invited by a Taiwanese friend to Strahov for dinner and met the last remaining low-profile Taiwanese here in Prague. Since he was nice enough to invite us to join them in her low-profile birthday celebration, I thought we return the favor by inviting them over for dinner the next day.

Next morning I received a text from Nuna Munhee, asking me out for hot chocolate, and to bring some friends. So I brought 3 and invited Nuna and her room mate over for dinner too. It was crazy. Dinner was to be at 6.30 and we were still out at 5. All went well though and I thought the night was finally over and I could rest before my trip to Karlovy Vary. Around 2330 I was invited to Nuna's room to drink, and at 2 in the morning we decided to party. So Patrick and I jumped out the window, literally and went back to change. To cut the long story short, I haven't slept until now.

Karlovy Vary was a boring place for us. Small town with only expensive hot spring baths. So we took to swimming. After searching all over for a reasonably priced hot spring spa, we gave up and went for Traditional Thai Massage. I will sleep now and feel the effects later.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Free Spirit

Free Spirit

Like a gentle breeze
That comes and goes
Never staying long
Always unannounced

You can feel it
Yet you can’t grasp it
It belongs to everyone
It belongs to no one

There are times I wished
That it would stay
For I was not ready
To let it part my way

But this breeze is a fleeting
And will soon be gone
For all will cease
When summer ends



Monday, March 28, 2011

Gaiman and Kafka

What will I make of this? I've been told I think too much. I need to learn to let things go their way and hope that things will work out fine. This is a battle I don't want to lose. It's not everyday you meet someone like that.

To make myself feel better, I bought 3 books today. Take it as a birthday gift to myself. So the loot of the day are American Gods, Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman, and The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka.

I've been hearing a lot about Gaiman and Kafka, and I can't wait to read their book tomorrow. Time to find a nice cafe and sit down and enjoy my book. Just some quality time with myself, no friends, no free-spirited girl, no distractions.

It's a little late for poem now. I shall attempt tomorrow.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

No party

Life is Prague isn't always one big party. You have ups and downs. And I'm experiencing my first down. I've met many amazing and interesting people, and one who dazzles me. But I won't go into it just yet.

I am supposed to find myself here in Europe. So far I haven't done anything of that sorts. Today is my birthday, and I refuse to spend in my dormitory couped up with my roommate, no offense to him.

I am going to buy myself a book, which, I don't know but I will. And have a nice cup of coffee while I read my new book. Not much of a celebration, only because I had my party last night. Well, I think it's time to go while the sun is still shinning.
Oh yay. Happy birthday to me.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Wander

Wander, that was our aim today. We etched our names in stone and messed around with each other the whole time. I'm loving this life. Now, I don't want this Erasmus to end. ):

Jazz on the bridge

I took to a little wandering about Prague yesterday. I had my camera, my ipod and my headphones and was oh so ready to go. I turned right out of the metro, only because I usually turn left. I wandered into the Jewish quarters, which I have never been before. I avoided the paths I've been on before, just to take the road not taken. So inspired by Robert Frost.

I took some photos of my favourite cobblestones, and of Lennon wall. The sad thing was that the original portrait of Lennon was painted over. Graffiti is allowed, so I will head back with my friends and imprint a part of us on this monumental piece of history.

I attempted to sketch one of the statues, but it was too cold and I basically sucked so I wrote a poem instead.


Jazz on the bridge

The soft thump of the double bass
The soothing tone of the clarinet
The sensual hum of the saxophone
The steady voice in a foreign tongue

The world hurried by
Eager to get to the other side
Lost in a world of their own
Oblivious to the sound of jazz

They played for no one
They played for everyone
They played for their love for music
They brought life to the bridge

As I watched them
My spirits lifted
My soul took flight
For I was, lost in my reverie

Monday, March 14, 2011

Long Overdue

Wow. It's been a long time since I last blogged. So much has happened. One minute I was depressed and stressed up about my visa, the next I was on a plane to Prague. Everything happened when you least expect it.

So Prague is simply amazing. I'm living the life right here. I've never felt so alive before. I have such a good mix of Asian and European friends. You learn something new here everyday. Europe has this charm about it. I can't quite put my finger on it but it's definitely there.

Before I got here I often fantasized about walking the cobblestoned streets of Prague, soaking in all the goodness the city has to offer. Now that I'm here, I'll admit I do wish it wasn't so crowded, and for the streets to be a little more mysterious. I want to take a wrong turn and stumble upon a cafe or a quaint bookstore and just spend the entire day browsing through it's unique collection. So far, I haven't seen any. Everywhere you go, there're bound to be tourists.

I visited Budapest a week ago, it was a nice city, only down side was that I fell sick so I don't think I did the city justice. The feeling you get when you're there is very different than that in Prague, but it was good nonetheless. But being part of the EU has its disadvantages too. I don't get a stamp on my passport for all the EU countries I visit. ):

In 5 days time I would have been here for a month. It's not as convenient as Singapore, the people here are not as friendly as the Taiwanese, but it has it's charm. And I think I'm smitten by it.

Ahoj!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

2 years on...

Happy Valentine's Day I suppose. 2 years ago I broke up with the first girlfriend, and the only girl I have ever loved. It was a stupid thing to do, but I guess we both wasn't mature enough.

Our relationship was a rocky one, but no matter how rainy the skies may be, there will always be sunshine. Our love was young and immature, but through it I grew to be a better person. I was dark and forlorn, pursued dreary musings and built a wall around myself.

Here is an advice to anyone who chance upon this blog. Do not entrust your happiness in someone else's hands. You should be the reason for your own happiness. I didn't see this before and I learnt it the hard way. I gave my heart readily to her, and when she left so abruptly I just fell into the abyss. I wrote 21 poems for her, and though I'm no Shakespeare, I wrote what I felt. In fact it was through my first poem that she fell in love with me. Here's another advice. Do not do something special for her all the time. It gets old. Soon it will mean nothing to her and then you'll have to outdo yourself.

Till this day I don't believe anyone will believe how much I had loved her. Not even her. You see I had my heart broken when she left to study in Perth. Basically she took my heart with her and cast me aside when she found someone else there. The tragedy is that I bought my plane tickets to visit her. I could have cancelled the trip, but I spent hard earned money and couldn't afford to. So I took it to my stride and went ahead anyway. I had to spend 60 AUD on a cab ride by myself to my rented place because she said it was too expensive to fetch me. By then I was so hurt I was incapable of feeling anything else.

So I arrived in Crawley, Perth but wounded up on the wrong side of the street. I had to wait there in the cold, for her and her new boyfriend to come pick me up. Words fail me now. I cannot even begin to describe how I felt then. Even now, recounting this tragic tale bring tears to my eyes.

You know the saying that tomorrow will be a better day? Well no. I planned this trip shortly after she left, so I gave her 4 months notice but she told me next day that she couldn't bring me around because she wants to buy some stuff for her trip and spend time with her new boyfriend who was returning home for a month. So basically, she gave me a card for taking the metro and bus, showed me where I can take the bus to the city and left me in a foreign place for 2 days.

I would have cried if I had any tears left to shed. I spent the day roaming Subiaco, visiting all 4 book stores, wondering where can I have dinner and still hoping she would come back to me. After just half a day at Subiaco I had to leave for Perth City, because I was bored to death. I spent the other half of the day sitting in the square, hating the world and all the happy people. I was immensely sad and dejected. It makes it all the worse to get racisim just because I an asian.

Thankfully after 2 days my friend came over to join me and we 3, me, my friend and my ex went to the beach. We stuffed 3 letters in a bottle and set it adrift upon the sea. I didn't show them what I wrote, nor have I told anyone. Today I will reveal what I wrote, for I have loved her for a long time, and now it's time to love myself. So if you're reading this, perhaps you'll know how much I loved you back then.

I wrote "Dear God, I hope that Sarah will find the happiness she's looking for, even if her happiness lies not with me. I love her with all my heart." Though these weren't the exact words, the intention isn't lost.

I am not who I used to be. I see the beauty of the world, albeit I don't believe in love anymore. The only love I recognise is the love parents have for their children. I do intend to exclude love from my life, but I do not pursue it relentlessly. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

Right now, I just want to find myself.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Wish

I wish I have a best friend, those bonds which you forge with someone spectacular when you were young. He can be a she, and she can be a he, it doesn't matter. I wish that on nights like this, when the air is cool and the streets are empty, we would get together and have sip latte by a jetty, our feet tracing the slivery lights in the water and just talk.

I wish this someone knows everything about me, and me about him/her. I wish we were inseparable and fit together like a jig and a saw. I wish we would do silly things and plan big dreams with each other in it, and grow up to buy a house near one another and hope our kids will have what we have.

I wish I have you.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Please

Alas! I regret to inform that I am in no better situation than when I last made an entry. My visa is still pending approval, and it has been 76 days, 16 more than the usual. I would love to be all jolly and get ready for my departure on the 19th, but the truth of the matter is I don't even know if I can go. I don't even want to think about the possibility of me not being able to. Too much money have been invested into this. Not to mention school has already started and I really need this. God, please help me.

I should like to say I really wished I was born in England. The dreary weather, the green pastures, the cold mornings and blue skies just appeals to me. Singapore, though a former colony, has nothing of that sorts. I mean sure, we have much better and competent leaders that any other country in the world, but we Singaporeans lack life. We go through our daily motion like clockwork. We wake up, we shower, we rush, we work, we rush some more, than we watch lousy television and then we go to bed. How is that living? Whatever happened to shopping at your local fresh organic local produce market to cook dinner for a bunch of friends on a Saturday night? How about hopping into your Volkswagen mini bus during summer with your friends and family for a picnic in the picturesque countryside? How about buying your girl a bright yellow dress and stroll along the sodden green meadows?

This is the life I want. This is what I yearn for. Of all the places I could be born in, I have to be born here. Still I study hard, I work hard, I even served my country. I can only hope with my university degree, more doors will be opened to me, and I will be able to lead the life I want, and let my children, if any, lead a life they deserve.

P.S. Please God, let my visa be approved by the end of the week. Pretty please.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

World

The night is cool, a little city noise but otherwise silent. I like to imagine that when I wake up, I will receive good news. To all the happy people in the world, congratulations. To all the sad people in the world, learn to let go. To all the in-betweeners like myself, good for you.

The city awakes as I prepare to slumber.
Good night, world.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Sad to leave

I've been spending the past two nights at my grandpa's place. He just moved out of his house of 31 years today. Ever since I was born, my mom took me to his place and I could recall spending most of my childhood there. I remember that he used to cook a lot of food, and that I cut my finger when I inserted my finger into the fan.

I remember he bought me a blue bike with training wheels, and that my sister whined for one too. He watched me grow up from a willful boy to a nonchalant teenager, and finally to a responsible, albeit aimless young man. All these while I still see him as a grumpy old man, whose eyes have seen so much of this world.

I was filled with emotions as I parted with his humble abode. The one place I could go to revisit my childhood is now gone, and with that the innocence of simpler days and simpler mind will forever elude me. I could tell he was sad to go, but what more can he do? I find solace in him being with family, and someone at home to keep him company.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Such fleeting moments

I ought to get over the bad habit of cutting things close to the due date. Just this morning I awoke to my alarm clock (the proper clock rather than the one in all mobiles now since I got shampoo into my phone) to heavy rain and the sound of my mom apologising profusely to the king, for stepping on his tail. With the heavy fog of sleep not yet lifted, I indulged on the possibility of lying in bed and giving my scheduled ippt a miss. Now since I'm scheduled to leave for Prague in a week's time, I had no other alternatives but to go.

When I got to Khatib camp there was a long queue at the guard house. With the air still damp from the morning shower and skies overcast, the mere thought of spending my Saturday morning in-camp just repulsed me. So grudgingly we shuffle along, through the narrow gates like swines being herded to their gruesome death.

I was rather nervous about my first ippt attempt since, well 4 years ago. You'll be surprised by the number of pot-bellied man who showed up I tell you. Thankfully I passed with $100 incentive. At least that will get them off my back for at least another year.

The only thing nagging at me now is the impossibly slow processing time for my visa. Bummer.

On a random note, I've got a Tiara from Shermy and Heidi (Hidayah) who thinks I look gay (which I think is a compliment) and deserves princess treatment. It looks like the one Sarah has. Now what can I possibly do with a Tiara? Even Sarah has no use for it save to collect dust.

I'll miss everyone when I eventually leave for Prague. I won't see my family, grandpa, His Majesty the King Tiger the First for 6 months, and Sarah for a whole year. By then she would have completed her bachelor''s degree and probably attempting her honours and bitching about something.

I'll be meeting April in a short while to get decorations for her room from Ikea @ Alexandra. It sure brings back pleasant memories. We were so innocent back then. It is dangerous to open these trap doors to your memories. It can all come rushing in and you wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Last night I went to Holland Village, another place full of memories for me. Something beautiful and sweet began there and I was once a happy and very lucky boy. Now things have changed, people have changed, I have changed. We cannot go back to how we were, even if we try to.

Sometimes it saddens me, when I think of the days of yore. These memories, the details will soon fade away, the raw emotions, delicate words, gentle promises will soon be forgotten as time trudges on. But we can't keep living in the past. We have to man up, or woman up and carry on with our lives. I am glad to have these memories, no matter how fleeting, than to not have any at all. Digging through my old collection of rather bad poems, I found this. Don't worry, I'm just reminiscing.


Angels fall without you there
The flowers wilt and the meadows go bare.
Morning came without any hope
Too much pain and grief for me to cope.

I watch and wait while my empty heart bled
My eyes run dry from all the tears I have shed.
I would love to kiss your beautiful face
And indulge myself in your embrace

You alone can bring me joy
And the ability to make me coy
You are my princess and I am your knight
Yet all I am is a sorry sight.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Still waiting

A while back I wrote a post expressing my fears about the imminent release of my exam results and my visa's approval. Well this is a follow up to that. My results have been released for about a week now, and I must say I did very well this semester. I could have done better, if I had a better lecturer but let's not point fingers now. So I managed to get 3 A+, 2 A, 2 B+ and 1 B. Yes the work load is crazy but such is the life of an engineering student. This translates to a 4.60 gpa out of a maximum 5.0 for this term, and a cgpa of 4.25. I think that's pretty good.

Alas! The same cannot be said for my visa. As of now I have yet to hear from them, although Kelvin, the other Singaporean I'm going with called me up last Monday to inform me that his visa is ready for collection. Since he applied for it a week before I did, I assume that my visa should be read by next week. The wait is killing me. So please God, if you're reading this could you please help expedite the process?

Another small request, could you keep Patches safe? Well not just her, but all the other poor strays out on the streets around the world. Keep them from harm, hunger and weather.

Lastly, thank you for guiding me through my exams and giving me such good results. (:

I hope to hear from the embassy soon since it's not possible to hear from you.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Happy Birthday Tiger!

Now a year ago someone important came into my life. Before he was just wandering the streets, eating off what people give him. He sometimes sneaked into people's home in search of food. Yet he was loved by many. Yesterday marks the 1 year I am blessed with his company. Yesterday was a testament of how much he is loved by others, for many came to mark this remarkable day. Everyone, meet Tiger, my beloved friend.

For those of you who don't already know, Tiger was a stray before he lived with us. He was just a happy fat cat wandering the streets, until someone abused him. His face was scalded by hot water, and something stirred within me. I can't just leave him like that. I have to do something. So Sarah and I decided to bring him for treatment. The SPCA won't do jack shit, because they're just about as competent as those hooligans on the streets. No, this poor creature's comfort and life hangs on the balance. Handing it over to the SPCA is akin to gasing it myself.

So I brought Tiger home to nurse it back to health, while Sarah worked her magic and charm to bring in donation. Now one year on, you couldn't even tell he was abused before. People always told me that Tiger was lucky to have met us, but I'll say, we're lucky to have met him. Those big round amber eyes, that long swaying tail. That bulging tummy. This fat cat is truly the most handsome one I have ever met.

Here's a breakdown of who attended yesterday.

Shih Shun, Winson, Simon & Michelle, Pearlyn & Bobby, Cindy & Chee Keong, Sharon & Derrick, Yenyi, Keller & Jason, and Tiger's only feline friend, Curious.

There were others who wanted to come, but sadly couldn't.

Yet as joyous as it was, I have to mention that out there, there are many cats suffering. For the joy and comfort of one cat is accompanied by a hundred other cats' suffering. So to anyone who's reading this. Do keep an eye out for people who are sick in their head.

Happy Birthday Tiger! I'll always love you! (:

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Busy as a bee

Ty's been a busy bee these days. I met Jiayi for Saw VII on friday, which she found to be gross and I was enjoying all the gore, perhaps to the dismay of her. We then looked for a dress that she can wear today for a friend's 21st birthday. I must say girl, you look good in a dress!

I met her again yesterday evening, after I walked my fat cat and had late lunch with grandpa. I promised grandpa I will sleep over at his place and bring him the Hakka Assosciation this morning to collect his $80 angpow. Frankly only having 4 hours of sleep coupled with a near 3-hour bus ride is enough to make anyone sleepy. Didn't help when I went to visit my grandma around noon. The afternoon sun just makes it that much harder to fight back sleep.

So while Jiayi was doing her assignments yester-evening, I was trying my best not to distract her. So I brought along my 2 books, "I am a cat" which I have yet to finish, and "Great expectations" which I've only just started. I must say the older style of writing is confusing much, but Charles Dickens being such an amazing writer kept it interesting enough to read on. Unlike "The catcher in the rye" and "The great gastby" which bore the shit out of me. Classics are boring, but they are all masterpieces to be read.

Now it's time for me to fret over the impending release of my results this Tuesday and the excruciating wait for my visa's approval. Looking forward to this friday though! Wala wala with Jiayi. I must stress to my reader that she is not my girlfriend, but my partner in crime. Also note that our relationship is complicated and highly inappropriate, though not in the manner which peverted minds would imagine. As to where all this is going we will know in due time. As to what she makes of this I will have an answer by friday, though whether or not I will divulge it would depend on my mood, and mostly her answer. (:

Friday, January 14, 2011

Live

I can't believe I've only just watched "City of Angels". It's a damn good show. It makes America seem more, tolerable. Not that I have been there, but I've always seen myself as a Europe person. It seems like love is the greatest power. It is with love that God created us. It is out of love that we come into being, albeit some are mistakes.

I don't believe love is a mere chemical reaction and can be explained by science. It cannot even be explained by religion. Though right now I'm out of it, I'm glad I had loved and was loved by someone. I do not know what the future may hold, but dear God, if you stumble upon my post please let me find myself. I need to find myself before I can find my significant other. Again, I hope my Europe trip will do me some good. Speaking of which, please let my visa be approved.

I feel like a poem right now.


Live

The inescapable noise of city life
The distant sound of footsteps
The soft buzz of crickets
The deep breaths of my sleepy cat

To feel the cool wind upon my skin
To hear the silence of the night
To witness the pale beauty of the moon
To sing a gentle lullaby

I reminisce
I breathe
I thank
I live

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Be.

I am told recently that the me now is more likeable. That is good news. The shackles of my past are broken, and now I am free to choose the path I wish to take. I am reading a self-help/discovery book now. Initially I was quite sceptical about it but now that I'm nearing the end of the book it starts making sense. Well granted that some parts are still a little out there but the rest is true.

This reminds me of something someone once told me long ago. Do not entrust your happiness in someone else. You have to love yourself for someone to love you. It now make perfect sense. I will blog more about the book once I have finish reading it.

If you want to be happy, be.
Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Bad start but looking good

What a way to kick start 2011. My grandma was in hospital for high fever which subsided after a day, but kept under observation due to low blood oxygen. Thank god she's out of the ICU. If all goes well she should be going back home in a few days.

Between my last entry and this I have bought my air tickets to Prague, and returning from Munich. I still need to get my luggage, a schoolbag, some stationaries, another bag for backpacking and a nice journal for me to keep as a travel diary. Of course there's the visa to be collected as well. So much to do, so many people to meet but too little time.

In a month's time I shall be strolling down the cobblestone streets of Prague old town, soaking in all the historic goodness the city has to offer. I think this Europe trip will do me some good.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Lost

I must make myself clear. I generally don't have the habit of setting New Year Resolutions because I never fulfill them. This year however, I thought I should.

Now I have been through hell and back, emotionally that is, back in 2010. Yet somehow I managed to find forgiveness in my heart. In retrospect, 2010 wasn't a fantastic year for me. I have had my heart broken, became disillusioned about relationships, jaded by life and detached from people around me. So in 2011, I have only 3 resolutions.

1) Lead a healthier lifestyle
2) Be punctual for all my appointments
3) Rediscover myself

These 3 are of equal importance, and I hope I can achieve it. Especially the 3rd. I cannot go on living like this. I have moved on, but I lost myself in the process. Perhaps 6 months in Europe will do me some good. Travelling heals the soul.

Not all that glitters is gold,
Not all who wanders are lost.
J.R. Tolkein